dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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