the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He passed out mid-signature
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
