mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
