Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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