For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize