He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
