Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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