Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize