So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
