I love black thongs
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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