We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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