Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
