Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Success! We fucked roommates!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize