it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
