dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
