But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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