He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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