Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
