My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
