My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
