I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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