I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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