i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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