Define "chronic" masturbator.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
