So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
