I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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