There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
