Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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