Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
