I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
high people should be assigned attendants
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
