I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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