I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
