he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
