Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
