His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
as a side note pls kill me
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
