I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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