The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Never joke about your clitoris.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
