Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
you had me at cake vodka
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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