i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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