Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You dont lie about slip and slides
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
