My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
