Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
