so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
