i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
