We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
