dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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