I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
