SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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