My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
