he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
