She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
