the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
