i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
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