Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
