What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
