I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
