im gay
i know
yea but for you.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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