I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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