either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
