the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
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