he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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