Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
