She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
