I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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