hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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