she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
