just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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