What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
