She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
